You know that self-confident, successful person you admire so much? You think he just naturally has it all together and everything just goes great in his life all of the time. But, you don’t know all of the experiences which have combined to form this admirable person. The fact is that we aren’t born with self-confidence; it has to be learned and developed. When we realize that and begin to use what life throws our way to improve ourselves, our self-confidence begins to grow.

David Schwartz, author of The Magic of Thinking Big, proposes that “lack of self-confidence can be traced directly to a mismanaged memory.” If we ask our memory bank teller to recall thoughts to prove we are inferior, it does. When we ask it to recall thoughts to prove we are capable, it does. These recalled thoughts are produced from the thoughts we allowed into the bank previously.

Dr. Schwartz presents a way to build self-confidence. “(1) Deposit only positive thoughts in your memory bank. (2) Withdraw only positive thoughts from your memory bank.” He compares thinking negative thoughts to putting dirt in your car’s crankcase every morning. He states, “Negative, unpleasant thoughts deposited in your mind affect your mind the same way. Negative thoughts produce needless wear and tear on your mental motor. They create worry, frustration, and feelings of inferiority. They put you beside the road while others drive ahead.” He suggests spending a few minutes thinking about good things before going to bed at night. I find that when I go to sleep counting my blessings and dwelling on the positive experiences of the day, I wake up the next morning feeling happier and more positive.

Let’s pay attention to what we are thinking about and make sure it is positive and encouraging. This will go a long way in building, or maintaining, the self-confident lifestyle we desire.