We all want to be happy, but . . . You know how we think, I will be happy when I lose the weight I want to lose or I get the job I want, or. But what happens when you get that job? Are you happy? Yes! But after awhile you find yourself saying, I’ll be happy when I get that raise, or when I get that promotion.
We continue to want more. That is a good thing! We want to set goals and strive for more. But what this shows us is that success, achieving these goals, is not what makes us happy long term.
Shawn Achor, in his book, The Happiness Advantage, proposes that it’s the other way around – that it is happiness and optimism that fuels success.
He states, “Waiting to be happy limits our brain’s potential for success, whereas cultivating positive brains makes us more motivated, efficient, resilient, creative, and productive, which drives performance upward. This discovery has been confirmed by thousands of scientific studies.”
He shares how he applied to Harvard on a dare, never expecting to go there. But he was accepted and did his undergraduate and graduate studies there. That is where he made this discovery.
He realized that he felt grateful and appreciative of the opportunity to study at Harvard, even though it was stressful and difficult. He saw other students there who whined and complained about it – they expected to be there and some probably felt entitled to this opportunity. But the real eye-opener was when he went on a speaking tour to Africa in 2009.
He visited a school in Soweto, next to a shantytown with no electricity and little running water. He realized, while standing in front of the children, that his usual stories about research of privileged American college students and wealthy business leaders would not work here. Trying to start, he jokingly asked, “Who here likes to do schoolwork?” He was shocked when 95 percent of them enthusiastically raised their hands! These children saw schoolwork as a privilege that their parents didn’t have.
He realized that “our interpretation of reality changes our experience of that reality.” This is what prompted his years of research of Harvard students and in companies of this positive psychology.
It isn’t success that causes happiness. It is happiness that causes success. It always boils down to what we think.
See the positive in your situation so you can live . . . your life to the fullest.